This is stupid. As I was saying to TV9, what I don't understand is why anyone would want to make THOSE games into movies when there are games dying to be made into stone cold Z-movie bad classics. MOUSE TRAP. Come on. I'd see it.
So I came up with some better board game movie ideas. Let me pitch these and you tell me you wouldn't rather see these than "Monopoly".
"In the near future...prisons will become the ultimate in state-of-the-art technology. The only way out is through a complex grid. And only the right combination of steps, moves, and intelligence will get you by. These four prisoners are about to make their attempt at escape and glory together. CONNECT FOUR. Rated Y because you wonder Y the FUCK we made this."
I think it'd be a good Brad Pitt vehicle. Or this one:
"A dream safari in Africa...threatened by the emergence of a unnatural threat. HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS!"
The possibilities are ENDLESS. I can see the preview in my mind for this last one already.
"Alan Rickman is Hanskraus Van Pistnazi, a megalomaniacal dictator bent on world domination. His armies stretch over the globe, conquering smaller lands until few free territories remain.
Jason Statham is Dick Seenormous, a hard-edged vigilante who finds himself the unlikely and unwilling leader of a ragtag army of Freemen who will go against the odds to stop Pistnazi's quest for the globe.
The stakes are high. The end is nigh. And...
THE
WHOLE
WORLD
IS
AT
RISK
Hollywoooooood! Call meeeee! We'll do lunch.
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