Christmas Time!!!!

[Michele]

Seems like Santa has made some changes for part of the country this
>year........YEE HAW !
>
>
>
> Subject: Fw: Memo from Santa
>
>
> Memo from Santa
>
>I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve
>Georgia, Florida, West Virginia, Virginia, North and South Carolina,
>Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, Ohio or Alabama on Christmas Eve.
>
>Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was
>renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the
>new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so
>keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good
>hands with your
>local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His
>side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering
>toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences
>between us.
>
>Differences such as:
>1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba
>Claus.
>He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads:
>
>"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
>
>2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave RC
>cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't
>smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff, so please have an empty spit can
>handy.
>
>3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead
>of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one
>time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
>
>4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen..." when
>Bubba
>Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott
>and Petty."
>
>5. "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw" And you also are likely to
>hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat"
>
>6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a
>Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "“ Back Off."
>
>7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as"Miracle on 34th Street" and
>"It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area.
>Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit
>IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars
>crashing into each other.
>
>And Finally,
>
>8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the
>wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents
>under the tree.
>
>Sincerely Yours,
>Santa Claus