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This is similar to an old school exercise where two people alternate writing a sentence or paragraph of a story to give it as many twists and turns as one can imagine. All in good fun.
So I guess I'll start...
There once was a traveling gnome who got really bored traveling, so he decided to settle in the town of Retropolis where the National Anthem was Def Leppard's "Hysteria" and the mullet was still in style.
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"If you say you're going to do something and you start to do it, and people enjoy it or respect it or are entertained by it, people will step up and help you."
I can't find any way to proceed with this story. It's already great. So here's my contribution:
And he lived happily ever after. The end!
Fag
Make something up anyway. Heh.
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"If you say you're going to do something and you start to do it, and people enjoy it or respect it or are entertained by it, people will step up and help you."
There once was a traveling gnome who got really bored traveling, so he decided to settle in the town of Retropolis where the National Anthem was Def Leppard's "Hysteria" and the mullet was still in style.
The Mayor of Retropolis, BurgerVamp9, was a fair, sharp, cunning and often mischievous official. He laid out the ground rules for the city, and those who abided by the rules and especially those who sported the mullet were rewarded often with free food. However, the residents never knew when they were going to receive said free food as the mayor would sneak up on unsuspecting individuals, surprise them and do some crazy touchdown dance before offering up free sustinence.
The Mayor had an uncanny ability to sense the hunger of his citizens, as he would produce varying food items depending on their level of hunger. On this particular day, the gnome was working on building his new hut and fashioning his gnome mullet, when he suddenly felt very hungry...
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"If you say you're going to do something and you start to do it, and people enjoy it or respect it or are entertained by it, people will step up and help you."
The Mayor had an uncanny ability to sense the hunger of his citizens, as he would produce varying food items depending on their level of hunger. On this particular day, the gnome was working on building his new hut and fashioning his gnome mullet, when he suddenly felt very hungry...
The Sneak Mayor sensed the tiny man's hunger, and tiptoed up behind him all ready to offer him a tasty treat when all of a sudden his efforts were thwarted by...
The Sneak Mayor sensed the tiny man's hunger, and tiptoed up behind him all ready to offer him a tasty treat when all of a sudden his efforts were thwarted by...
The scary looking clown otherwise known as Ronald McDonald. Suddenly from out of the bushes jumped the Burger King and Ronald and the King commenced to fencing...
Standing nearby watching all these events unfold with great curiosity was a team of sled dogs. These dogs had found their way to this town over a great distance. They had lost their master many days before when he stopped to enjoy a Great White concert in a small venue. With the scent of his charred flesh and scorched hair in their powerful canine nostrils, they watched the two costumed idiots dueling before them.
"It's like watching a train wreck," said Hosehead, the third dog back on the left. "I just can't look away."
"I disagree," replied Sock, second dog back on the right. "You hope for survivors in a train wreck. This is like Sophie's Choice."
"Where in the hell did you find time to watch a movie?!" cried Wolf, the uncontested lead dog of this team. "Those days are over! We're already short-pawed as it is. We lost three of our crew in that fire that smelled like baked mullet! Lucky didn't live up to his name! Peanut is a Korean takeout meal! And Gigglepuss got it worst of all!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" howled Sock, who was secretly Gigglepuss' gay lover.
"We have to find purpose!" barked Wolf. "We have to find meaning! We have to find another human to drive this damned sled! One that isn't some freakish mutant clown with a sabre and a burger fetish! AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
And the dogs began to run without direction or focus. See the dogs run. Run, dogs! RUUUUUN!
Ronald McDonald distracted by the howls of the masterless sled dogs (and the stench of charred mullet) was then run clean through by the King of Burgers, who then withdrew his sword from the carcus (of the clown with clogged arteries) and sheathed his weapon.
The King commenced to following the team of dogs...
...and the sled dogs, being masterless for so long, were starting to get very hungry. They noticed the not-so-sneaky King behind them as he dove into random barrels and piles of hay to disguise himself (because random barrels and piles of hay are very commonplace in this part of the world). The lead dog decided that the King did not look very appetizing as his body was frail and the head seemed to be constructed of some papier-mache/plastic mixture. However, his second-in-command-dog realized that the King could yet be of service to the sled dog team...
(written by Rice as Jess because Jess never signs out for some reason and Rice forgot and doesn't want to write this again)
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Kindness is contagious. Get the fuck away from me.
Originally Posted by Jessica but not REALLY Jessica
However, his second-in-command-dog realized that the King could yet be of service to the sled dog team...
A flash of blue light. Then silence.
The lush, green ground where the King and the sled dogs had stood only moments before was now nothing more than a circle of ash. A strong breeze caught the ash and sent it into the distance, curling into strange shapes and patterns that the wandering mind often finds meaning in. But no wandering mind was there to appreciate such things...only the calculating mind of Dr. Victor Thirteen.
Dr. Victor Thirteen had seen several different lives since his arrival on this planet in 1989. He had been a child's plaything. He had been a hero, a villain, a man of science. He had journeyed into space, time, and dimensions beyond. Many times his life had been taken from him. He had found resurrection after each of these "deaths" at the hands of one benevolent (malevolent?) being that seemed unwilling to let him peacefully fade into oblivion.
Nearly fifteen years had passed since Dr. Thirteen had last merged with the infinite. Now he once again stood on solid ground, alive and well. He had no clear recollection where he had been before this moment. He had only a nagging feeling at the base of his skull that he had been brought back this time for a higher purpose. Something good. Something noble. A chance to eradicate a great wrong.
It was then that he noticed the crown a few feet away, slightly melted and twisted by the explosion that signified Thirteen's return to life. Dr. Thirteen ambled over the ashy surface. He examined the crown, trying to read the red lettering that was once so prominent. Upon finally realizing what the words were and the identity of the victim, Dr. Victor Thirteen chuckled to himself. Apparently he'd already done something good and noble and eradicated a great wrong. He had also noticed the remains of the sled and dogs but paid it no mind. They were unfortunate collateral damage.
Now it was time to do what he had set out to do almost twenty years before. It was time to rule everyone and everything HIS way. All he needed was a solid plan.
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